Empire Magazine – February 1996

Interview by Ian Nathan.

Richard E Grant. He was Withnail as opposed to I. He’s a dab hand at changing nappies (sort of). And he’s adamant that there shouldn’t be any stars or pat happy endings. But does Richard E. Grant know his gold top from his red?

Have you ever played the Withnail and I drinking game?

I’m allergic to alcohol, so I can’t. First question fucked.

Isn’t everyone allergic to alcohol though?

Erm, I don’t know, I literally can’t keep it down, so I’ve given up trying. I’m not teetotal because of any sort of moral thing, I’ve just got weak guts.

You don’t know any good hangover cures then?

God, I have no idea whatsoever. Some people say a Bloody Mary to top yourself up. I’ve never had one.

Do you think we should legalise drugs?

There is a battle cry every year about it. Alcohol is around and that is legal. Part of the fun is that they are illegal. It would be very boring to go down the corner shop and ask for four tabs of ecstasy and 15 kilos of coke for the weekend.

What does the E in your name stand for?

Ecstasy! Ha! No, E stands for another Equity member called Richard Grant. The only way they would allow me to keep my name was to put something in between. I went through the alphabet really quickly until I got to the letter E – the ones before that in the alphabet all had a bad association. All my friends call me Reg.

Okay Reg, is it true that you’re Hugh Grant’s brother?

Now what can I say about this? Well, so long as I’ve got my own hair and teeth, which I still have, it’s fine by me. Perhaps if they do a wonderful script for Nine Months 2, I could play his sister. He called me an ancient old fart in your magazine so I have no qualms about calling him a tired old has-been with a quiff. Stop twitching!

Is sex the primary force in the universe?

Absolutely. There is no greater thing…

When was the last time you were naked in the open air?

In France, about four months ago in the middle of summer. I have a house there and I generally walk around without my clothes on and frighten the neighbours. I have no burglar alarm.

Why do men have nipples?

So they can look at women more longingly, because they have something that each of us in our hearts desperately wants to have.

When was the last time you worried about money?

About five minutes ago. I’ve had every bill known to man just arrive in my mail. This time ten years ago I had been unemployed for about nine months. I’m not worried in the same way I was then.

Do you do your own shopping?

Yeah, I’m a shopoholic.

So how much is a pint of milk?

I have never drunk milk in my whole life, so I have no idea. No dairy for me. I hate it. Disgusting. It’s like cow’s mucus.

What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a pair of shoes?

God that’s a brutal question, I love shoes. Ah, two hundred pounds. that was in Rome, they’ve zips on them so you can get ’em on and get ’em off really fast. You don’t have to fart around with laces or anything like that. They are brilliant, just the sexiest zip-up shoes.

What’s the best gossip you’ve heard about yourself?

(Long pause) Errr…

That you were Hugh Grant’s brother?

That wouldn’t be the best bit. I don’t know, a 15 inch penis, the usual stand-by. They usually say I’m such a boring fart there’s nothing to write about me anyway. I’m just too nice.

Have you ever been in therapy?

I haven’t, but I’ve been advised to get some. Whatever’s going to get you through to the other side is fine by me.

Is God an old man with a long white beard?

Who?

God

No, I prefer his name spelt backwards, actually. I was brought up without any of that. A placebo for idiots to get through to the other side. I never subscribe to, nor have been brainwashed by that.

Is LA too PC?

Yes. You have to be in bed by nine and eat your food at six, eat four bean sprouts, a couple of lentils, and a teaspoon of wine just for your heartbeat. It’s ridiculous. But there is going to be a big backlash. Amanda De Cadenet is spearheading it; she’s holding the flag for us.

I bet you can always get a table at a restaurant.

God, the moment I say “yes” I’m going to be slaughtered as soon as you see me in the queue at Tesco’s. Yeah, I think it is one of the advantages if you are in something. But you have to keep doing things, you have to be seen in something, otherwise… Put it this way, I haven’t had to say I’m the brother of Hugh Grant, yet, to get in anywhere.

Which Carry On character did you most relate to?

Kenneth Williams playing a doctor. I think he’s just brilliant. If I even think about his nostrils it makes me laugh. I grew up on Just A Minute on the World Service. Before I saw him on film, I didn’t know what human being was capable of making those (very accurate Kenneth Williams impression) “Ooorrarr” sounds. I loved him.

Have you ever wanted to punch a director or another actor?

On every single job. If I gave you the list I would never work again.